Creation/Reality/Solitude

(This post was written September 15th, when I was going through a similar quiet time to the one I'm experiencing now.)

Sometimes, about once a month, I get very quiet. I communicate sparsely with connections, I don't share what I write, I reveal little about what I'm processing inwardly. Lately has been such a time. I'm currently enjoying a house sitting stay, and with conditions outside rather unfavorable for my usual outside shenanigans, I have been experiencing a life without any in-person interaction for a time. I could leave the house and go seeking it, but I have been in a place of preferring my own thoughts to that of others. And so, I write, and I process, and I clean. 

For the first time in a long time, I sat down to watch a series at the recommendation of someone whose recommendations I trust. It was the second series of The OA on Netflix. I experienced so many synchronicities in relation to this experience, it felt meant to be. The whole premise had me riveted. I already love puzzles and philosophy and mysteries and Zendaya and reality-benders. It was like it was made for me. 

The reality I've been playing with has been that of - there is actually no other person besides me. I'm the only one here. Everything projected outside of my own internal experience is coming from inside me. I am the soil, the seed, the sun, the water, the gardener, the plant, the fruit, and the consumer of that which I grow. My own lenses directly determines my experience, because that which we can perceive is that which we experience. Some of it is "programming". Some of it is "memories". Each "person" comes to teach me something about myself, even if it is just to shine a quick light on a blindspot in my own perception.

So in a way, maybe everything we ever experience is "made for us". An incalculable number of things are happening simultaneously across timelines and lifetimes. Creation happen(s/ed/is happening) all at once, even though we experience it through the illusion of linear time.